Losing your love of you life ,your husband, wife, that whom you have spent most of your life together, with children or without has now left your side. The wonderful but painful memories especially the good, happy, loving, laughter,wedding, your first born, holidays, personality, these are just some of the memories that will a be with you always.
You sit alone and the memories flood your brain, and the odd thing is that you can remember quite far back, usually when they are still with you, and try to remember a special occasion, you say ´I can´t remember that far back´. But when they are no longer with you, you can remember almost everything. When you go to work, shopping, driving, eating, socialising, and sleeping, the memories of your partner are in your brain like a TV.
Listening to Heart or Magic on the radio, brings back the memories some are very painful and some are anger, you know the song that was both of yours, ones that you had a loving moment, make up from a disagreement, holidays, a song you sang together etc. And it takes you back in time, which we all would like to go back, just to have your time again with them, even for a moment. So we can feel, see, smell, hear, just one more time.
The old motown, soul, reggae, and ballards are just me and will never get tired of listening to them, when Elvis, Elton John Ýour Song´ Eagles ´Hotel Califonia´ was hís favourite songs, played for his ´farewell´ to his next life.
When they play his favourite songs, I know that is a sign he is with me! but the emotions, feelings,sadness, loneliness, kicks in and sometimes hard to breath like you have no oxygen,there are sometimes alot of tears or none.
Your friends and family sometimes stay clear of reminders of the memories, of your dear departed, like they no longer exist, which angers me as they were also a part of their life, and were once living on this earth.
I would appreciate all that have suffered losing your loved one, please express your feelings, regardless great or small, if you have special memories like I do, or you have tried to block them out because of the Pain, love to hear from you all, as there are not too many people who can not express their feelings what they are going through or for someone to listen to you.
For everyone will evenually go through this process of agonising pain.